1. BRING PROTECTION!
2. Let him proceed all over you!
3. ARRIVE NAKED
4. YOU ARE A DAINTY FLOWER, BE A LADY
5. Just relax and be your normal awesome self.
6. BE A SAUCY WENCH! But only if he’s a good cook.
7. If he irritates you he doesn’t get any sweet stuff.
8. You have a right to see who you want to, hung or not.
9. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS PENIS’ FEELINGS.
10. It’s always good to have an out.
11. If there’s no sex this time I’d give it about a week.
12. Stop what-iffing before you drive yourself insane.
13. Be your rad self.
14. You can make a topographical diorama on his privates with leftover food while he snores.
15. You can get into the cooch, but you can’t get into the blog.
16. THOUGHTS ARE SACRED. ITCHES NEED SCRATCHING.